The Jury is Out

So on the morning of the Haven window replacements , I discover that I've forgotten to check in on my Jury Duty for the month, and I'm supposed to be at the courthouse. Tell me I'm not the only one who forgets to call in? Actually it's easier for me to go to the website and check there. Either way, I end up rushing downtown and arrive an hour late. Whoops!

A lot of people dread jury duty. It's tough for a lot of people to put life on hold. We ended up sending Emma to Welenco with Todd while I went, since we don't have a babysitter. While it was inconvenient for me to do it, I had to sympathize with the judge (a Glenn Beck lookalike), who had to listen to some of the bizarre reasons people think they shouldn't be on the jury. It was almost worth it to be there for the entertainment value. Here's some examples from my morning in court:

Judge: "You know the prosecuting attorney?"

Mr. H.: "Yes."

Judge: "And how do you know her?"

Mr. H.: "Well, she's a public figure, so I know her."

This guy was blatantly trying to get out of it. He had the same answer regarding the defense attourney. Hello? Obama is a public figure -- should I claim I know him??? Then the prosecutor was questioning the jurors on kinds of reading material. She discussed books, newspapers, etc. She tried to talk to different people, not always the same jurors. She turned to one younger guy:

Prosecutor: "Mr. S., what kind of magazines do you like to read?"

Mr. S.: (was hard to understand) "Hot Rod and _______"

Prosecutor: "And what does that magazine have in it?"

Mr. S.: "Well, like cars, ... fast cars, and ....parts, and .....pretty girls, and...."

Prosecutor: [cuts him off] "So it's a men's health magazine?"

Mr. S.: "Um. Yeah."

Here's another--a woman:

Prosecuting Attorney: "And what is your disability that prevents you from sitting in the courtroom?"

Ms. B.: "Um, well..... see, I can't like, um,... sit? Like for less than 15 minutes at a time."

Of course, she MEANT to say MORE than 15 minutes at a time. Slip of the tongue! The other physical problem guy said:

Mr. J: "I have [he named some disorder acronym that I can't recall]. And it makes me all jittery and my legs are all jumpy and I have to get up and jump around and yell and swear."

Hmmmm. I have the same thing, it's called frustration with my kids. (Actually not, so maybe his disorder was real. His description sounds a bit like Tourette syndrome, but that's not what he called it.)

Anyway, to make a long story short, I was seated in the gallery and when the judge broke for lunch, he gave people different times to return, based on whether or not he wanted to personally question them. I was in the last group, so didn't have to return until 4:30, and by 5:00 they had selected their 35-person panel, and I wasn't considered. From the 35 people, they choose the 12 trial jurors and 1 alternate.

The obnoxious Mr. H. from above, who had many issues that morning, did not return, so I assume ONE of his extensive list of excuses finally got him out of it. He is a college professor, and it sure made me question the kinds of people that can teach our young people!! I am just perverse enough that I would have kept him as a juror, just because he DIDN'T want to be there!

Odds that I would still have to report this month are almost nil, as this trial should last 2-3 days, so I am probably off the hook this time around. I had postponed this jury duty from last year, when Emma was brand new, and it would have been impossible to be there. You only get one postponement, so this was my jury month for sure. Now I'm heaving a sigh of relief. (I'm hoping they convict the guy -- 10 counts of lewd conduct with a minor -- who was back in court after the original trial was thrown out on a technicality. He's still guilty.)

Have you ever heard (or given) a wild excuse for not sitting on a jury?