Removing the Rose-Colored Glasses

Perfect.

I hate it when some younger-than-me customer service representative uses that word. The conversation goes like this:

Customer Service: "And what is your address?"
(I give them the street, city, state and zip)
CS: "Perfect."

Is it? Is it actually "perfect" that I remembered where I live?

CS: "Would you like fries with that?"
Me: "Yes, large size."
CS: "Perfect."

No it isn't. A large order of fries will go directly to my hips. Or hadn't she noticed that about me? Because I'm NOT PERFECT.


So, .... I think that in the world of Facebook, Pinterest, blogs, & other online media sites, people tend to post beautiful pictures of perfectly decorated rooms, perfectly delicious meals, perfectly dressed families, ..... and the rest of us are left with a wildly distorted image of some sort of perfect life, that doesn't actually exist in reality.

Well, at least for 99% of us, it doesn't exist. I'm sure there's 1% out there somewhere that really does live that perfect life. Whoever they are, though, I don't know them.

So in the interest of Keeping It Real, I want to share some of the down-to-earth realities about Real Life at Huffaker Haven, and how this mom here may not always have the best method of handling everything from positive parenting to oddball mishaps. This is coming at you in no particular order.....

Bad Mommy Reaction

Last night, one of the kids had an unexpectedly explosive experience with a bottle of pop. It was all over the counters, cabinets, floor, people, ...... it was probably in more places than I realize. I'm going to open a drawer and find pop-splatter in it, I'm sure of it. After grabbing the roll of paper towels, I have to admit that I had a bit of a giggle at the absurdity of the whole thing.

Giggling. At your child's expense. Yeah. That was probably not the best mother-reaction, huh?

 

Living in Harmony

I talk a lot about how well my girls get along together. And they do. For the most part. But we have an occasional heated skirmish around here that doesn't even remotely resemble "harmony." Guilt-trips and stonewalling can happen in the blink of a mascara-coated eyelash. And we deal with it.

 

Proactive Mothering

I like to delude myself into believing that I'm teaching my kids life skills that they will need once they've grown up and left home. In fact, I have a whole List of things that I want them to know before they leave home. (Just ask them.... The List is posted inside the pantry as a reminder!) There's a variety of things on my List, everything from knowing how to check the oil in their car, to cooking meals, to leading music,  ............ and I'm pretty sure the reality around here isn't quite the ideal I once thought I was doing.

For example, how can they learn responsibility if I keep doing things for them? For a few days, while our dishwasher was out of commission, we were back to handwashing dishes. But instead of "we" -- it was "me" doing dishes. Because it was easier to do it myself than it would be to ask the teens, and then go through the routine of groans, sighs and listening to the expansive list of all they have to get done before midnight.


Teaching Good Habits

I remember having to make my bed EVERY SINGLE DAY when I was growing up. I wish I could say that I've taught my kids that habit. Despite going over this point repeatedly with all of my kids (including my boys who have flown the nest), none of them has this habit. Not one. Bedmaking is apparently a special occasion offering. Like if they want to do something or go somewhere, they'll make their bed in order to secure permission from the mom. How and when did this happen???

And apparently, unbeknownst [what a cool word!] to me, the children have all decided that the laundry room is their personal clothes closet. Did they have a siblings' conference and vote on this one?

 

Doctored Blog Photos

I will make a confession right now, too.  In any given picture that I post on this blog, I have probably gone through the background, and moved things out of camera range. (I'm not talented enough to Photoshop things out of the picture.) Things like newspapers, schoolwork, toys, -- the clutter of life that I seem to be surrounded with. All these get moved out of sight, so that you don't see how we REALLY live. And if it snuck into the photo, I crop it out whenever possible. Pretty hypocritical, huh?


Warped Four-Year-Old

There's something to be said for being a more relaxed parent. But there's relaxed, and then there's just plain lazy. Our sweet little Emma is not having the same childhood experience as our older kids had.  This is the child that gets away with being the biggest little stinker ever. "Picky" doesn't even begin to describe her eating habits. And when did we start buying something for our kids on every single trip to a store? She's even learned how to bat her eyelashes. Pretty sure the older kids did not have it this easy. What am I raising this child to be??

And finally,  ........ (well, for today)


Procrastination is the Name of the Game

It's a bad habit of mine, that I'm trying to shake, struggling to shake, and apparently I'm passing it along to my children.  Examples? Well, for as much as I love teaching early-morning Seminary, I can't seem to prepare my lessons before 10:00 at night. And for as much as I want to be a bit early to church on Sundays -- to be able to sit, breathe, and focus before the meeting starts -- one or more of us is always scrambling at the last minute before we dash out the door, and half the time, that "someone" is me. We often slip into some empty bench -- or worse: into the chairs in the overflow area -- just as the opening hymn is being sung. I delay purchasing a birthday gift or card until we're on the way to a party. I somehow think that I have more time than I actually do, or my tasks take longer than the time I'd allotted for them. I see things that need to be done, and I either wait to do them, or they don't get done at all.

I just know that I can be better than what I am. And I am teaching my children to procrastinate, too. School reports and projects don't get done until the night before they're due. Assignments, or Saturday Chores don't get finished until late afternoon.


So were you waiting for some sort of disastrous confessional? Are you sitting there thinking, "Lady, you're not that bad."??

Maybe not. But I'm all about progressing. And if you're not moving forward, then you're moving backward. Right? So here's to moving forward!

Chalkwalk

 

So, over the weekend, the girls went out to clean out the Jeep. With all the running around they do, and the fact that the high school softball practices are going daily, ... yes, it was time to clean it out! And it's kind of a "given" around here that if you have a vehicle at your disposal, it's your responsibility to take care of it.

 

Emma wants to help, but there's only so much she can do. So they pulled out the sidewalk chalk and they all went to town with it. In Emmaspeak, she shortens the whole name from "sidewalk chalk" to "chalkwalk." Next thing you know, the teenagers are coming up with bigger and better drawings.....

 

... and lettering. Because typography is so big right now....

It's a good thing the Jeep still got cleaned during this little afternoon outing.

At least, I THINK it still got cleaned......

Taking your pick... Black Jelly Beans

 

Who doesn't like jelly beans? And with Jelly Bellies, there's a flavor for everyone to like. See all the amazing bright color-flavors? Right??

 

 

49 of them.

 

With braces on, eating jelly beans isn't quite the same experience. I get a little nervous about the chewy centers getting stuck to my wires and ripping them out or something. So I don't munch these things down like I used to do. What this really means is that some flavors aren't eaten by the rest of the family, ... only by me. And if I'm not eating them, then no one eats them.

Here's the sorting bowl -- the family digs through this to find the flavor they want. Not quite as colorful, huh. Can you tell that I'm the only person that eats black jelly beans around here?

What are the chances that I could save the black ones until my braces come off....?



P.S.   I've cut way back on popcorn, potato chips, and chewing ice, too. That last one is life-changing.

Can you feel the Heat?

I'm addicted. And I freely admit it, too.

I love heat. LOVE it.  Love, love, Love, LOVE HEAT. I know, you're thinking, "That's it???"

Well, yes. What were you expecting?

A couple of years ago, over a series of particularly chilly winter nights, Todd and I came to the realization that..... our bed was COLD!! Butt-chilling, teeth-rattling, gasping... Cold! Not through lack of blankets... because we had that. But just to crawl between those sheets, in our slightly-cooler-than-the-rest-of-the-house bedroom -- was a true act of bravery. Who knew that combed cotton could feel like a cloth refrigerator?

So we would slip into bed from our respective sides, and I would travel across the king-size expanse to Todd's side, and Velcro myself to him for at least 15 minutes, until I got warm again. Sleeping with Todd is like going to bed with a furnace. He is almost always warm!!

And, yes..... that can lead to other things, --duh!!-- but this is a family blog. Hanky-panky happens. But I make it a policy not to blog about it!

Anyway. So our king-sized sleeping territory was not divided 50-50 anymore. It became more of a 60-40 split. Or maybe 70-30. I was missing the days of our heated waterbed!! And if we went to bed at separate times? It was awful -- because then I didn't even have a furnace to cuddle with!

And then, we made a purchase that changed things forever. It was ... a heated mattress pad. With dual controls, no less, so we wouldn't be at odds over the setting. Don't ask me the brand, I just know it was whatever Costco carried at the time. And I know it has a Preheat setting. Which is my absolute FAVE.

So now.... I slip into our bedroom about a half hour or so before I'll actually be retiring, and I turn on my side of the bed to the Preheat setting. And then I walk away. Just like that.

Except, for some reason, I usually have an old episode of, "Bewitched" running through my head.

It's the one where there is an enchanted antique bedwarmer. I'm sure this really dates me!!

And the bedwarmer actually reminds me of a product we carry at Welenco that has a totally different purpose:

Yep, it's a campfire popcorn popper! (I have one that hangs alongside our dining room fireplace)

But, I digress.

So..... did you know, that if you preheat your bed with your fancy-schmancy heated mattress pad, and then crawl into those covers when it's good and toasty..... and your head sinks down into the pillow, and you pull the heavy comforter (which is also warm, by now) up to your chin, ... well ...

It's a little slice of heaven.

Which is WHY, when I sink into the oh-so-warmmmmm covers, I always let out a sigh and a prayer of thanks for HEAT.

Because I love it!!

Of course, at that point, I also turn off the heated mattress pad. It would be a little too much of a good thing.

Grandparent Love!

Lately, I've been going through some old family photos, and scanning them into the computer. It's been so much fun to look into familiar faces and step back in time. Being the baby of the family, there's a lot that I don't remember -- or not as well as my siblings remember things. So the pictures are a particular treasure to me.

 

 

That's me, at probably 3-years-old. I'm squinting into the camera, as I seem to have done a lot in these old photos! I remember those bushes in the yard, and riding that little trike around the patio a *lot*. And that jacket? It was my fave. Well, it might have been my only jacket, so that makes it the favorite, right?

 

Going through these pictures, I can extrapolate family trips, based on locations, groups of photos, and who is in the pictures. I must say too, that I haven't given my family very much credit for having family trips and outings. But I think we did more than what I remember happening.

 

For example, this next picture is me (again, probably 3-years-old), and I'm with my grandparents, on my mom's side. According to the label (Thank you, Mom, for writing on the backs of the photos!), we are at Pier 39 in San Francisco. I need to check dates, but I suspect that Grandpa and Grandma Davidson were either just returning from one of their missions to South America, or this trip was taken shortly after their return.

 

 

We lived close to San Francisco, so I love how my grandparents were dressed up formally for a simple day-trip into the City!

 

I see Grandpa looking at my child-self in this photo, and I remember feeling loved by him. This same man made a swing for me that hung from a wooden arbor in his back yard in Pocatello. I can remember swinging with great gusto when Grandpa pulled the car into the adjacent driveway. As he drew up next to me, he honked the horn and made me jump three inches from the wooden seat of that homemade swing!!

 

My dad's parents were also wonderful grandparents, and I have great memories of visiting their house in Pocatello. This is Grandma Duerden with me and my brother, Sterling, ... it looks like she was showing us some photographs.

 

That was one thing about Grandma Duerden: she would get right down on the floor with us.

 

Her hair hadn't gone completely white yet! I'm sure that I thought I was playing Chinese Checkers with Grandma, but it was really my sister, Karen, calling the moves for me. That would've been my only chance at a decent game! It was never a visit to Grandpa & Grandma Duerden's house, without playing Chinese Checkers on their homemade game board. I also have memories of re-organizing fruit magnets on the refrigerator, walking to the nearby A&W for root beer, and playing in the shade of the big apricot tree, wondering if "popcorn" ever really popped there.

 

With all of my grandparents gone, I have a great appreciation for the grandparent-grandchild relationship. Where am I going with this?

 

Well, at least once a week -- sometimes more often -- Emma really gets some one-on-one time with her grandparents. Since my parents are gone, it is really up to Todd's parents to fill that role in her life, and I have to say that they're doing a fabulous job of it.

 

Emma goes visiting as a change-of-pace from spending mornings with me at work. Most times, her visits include a tea party with Grandma (and anyone else they can rope into joining them). She also plays princesses, puzzles, dolls, and likes building big castles with the wooden blocks:

Castle styles vary, depending on which grandparent is the construction consultant:

 

I love that Todd's parents have always been interested and involved with all of their grandkids. I love that they take the time and get down on the floor, just like my grandma used to do. And I love the joy on Emma's face when she knows she's going to visit her grandparents.

 

A couple of amazing people, and I'm so grateful to have them in our lives!

 

 

 

Sweet Love!

One of my favorite quotes is from comedienne Rita Rudner. I looked for a source, so I could get the wording correct, and I can't find it. You're stuck with my best guess, which is:

 

"I support any holiday that's based on candy."

 

She could have said, "chocolate" instead of candy, but I don't remember well enough. I'm thinking Halloween, Easter, Christmas, Valentine's.... YUM!!

 

So for Valentine's Day this year, I got adventurous, and made some cinnamon rolls for my Seminary class. I actually wanted to try out my Pinterest pin that showed how to make the rolls heart-shaped:

 

It's just a different take, and not any more difficult than shaping regular cinnamon rolls, and it was kinda fun! You just roll them from both sides, instead of one, and pinch the bottom of the hearts to get the point. I spaced them out so they would keep their shape, which worked pretty well. I also tried a different recipe, which included caramel icing (I usually make a vanilla icing)... which is why the icing in these pictures looks brownish. Tasted great, but not overly-caramel.

So I took two full trays to Seminary. And milk --- because isn't that a requirement with cinnamon rolls??

And this is what was leftover....

 

We also made some shortbread cookies for the preschoolers, since that was our week to teach preschool, and we had the Valentine party at our house:

The frosting looks a little tweaked because the plastic wrap hit it before it was set. Todd tinted some great colors for me!

Valentine's Day really started on the day before for me, when Todd's beautiful flowers arrived for me at Welenco! He truly is the BEST, and is so good about remembering things!

The preschoolers: adorable! First with silly faces:

And also with sweet faces!

 

After Preschool, Todd and I went out to lunch and shared a yummy platter of shrimp pasta and lobster tails.... mmmmm!! We've discovered that going out to lunch on Valentine's Day beats going out to dinner, because restaurants aren't as busy during the day. So we got a great meal, plus great service. Score!

I wish I could get the video off my phone (too large a file, it claims).... to show you the Singing Valentine that the Gold Voices kids sang at Welenco that afternoon! They did an awesome job of it -- and sang their new one: "Got to Get You Into My Life". It kinda makes me a bit sad to think that this is Alyssa's last year of doing Singing Valentines.

Emma loved Valentine's Day, and loved doing things in the family with bags and hearts and little gifts that Grandma Huffaker had provided for us. It really was a fun day!

Who's reading this schtuff, anyway?

Don't you just hate it when you're typing along, getting a good flow of words going, and suddenly your computer highlights the whole would-be post and deletes the entire page? Yeahhhh, me too.

Soo..... where was I? Oh, yeah. Starting over.



Sometimes I get the feeling my Facebook posts exist purely for others' entertainment. I admit, I do try to make them interesting. otherwise, what's the point? Nobody wants to read boring stuff. And it's all true, so I only post something on Facebook when I actually have something at least marginally interesting going on. I've had a few people tell me they enjoy reading my posts, which always makes me feel good.

I'm far from The Winner at interesting Facebook Posts. And cough*Breezi*cough --  surely knows that no one could trump her Trials with Twins Saga. (Love you, Breezi!!)

On the flip side, I have a Facebook Friend who was going through a rough patch of life (and kind of still is), and their posts were one long parade of Depressing Stuff. I got to the point that I would almost dread reading their post when I saw their name come up on my feed. It was a lot of, "woe is me" in varying incarnations, and it just went on and on. I'm not unfeeling, but this person could make some changes that would turn their life around-- if they just would.

So yeah --- I do try to make my Facebook posts positive and interesting.

And then there's this blog.

Sometimes, I wonder -------- who's reading this schtuff, anyway??    :-)

Well, I happen to know that a number of family members/friends don't come read this blog until I send them an email--with links--that tells them I've updated the blog again. And there's a certain number that actually publicly "follow" this blog. (Most of my friends and family do not have a blog of their own.) A long time ago, I actually took down the "followers" widget off the blog, because the number there was not very inspiring.

Then, I seem to have some mystery readers who, for some reason, follow along without declaring themselves. Ok. I can deal with that.

But when I see a sudden spike in the stats, I start to wonder about this variety of readers. It's not often that I have a post that elicits a sharp jump in blog visitors. It makes me wonder what I possibly had to say that people are suddenly way interested in. At least on Facebook, I know that since I've limited visibility to those that are my friends -- there's a limited pool of people who might read what I say.

Are you one of those mystery readers of my blog? I'd sure like to know about you... if you don't mind. You can come out of hiding and follow publicly .... it's ok, really. Because I wonder..... what did I *say*?? And just who exactly is reading this schtuff???