Thoughts...

I've been pondering on this post for a little while.  I haven't been thinking about it constantly, but I'm periodically reminded of it.

I have several Facebook and/or Pinterest friends, who post pictures, quotes and phrases that are inspirational. Or funny. Or funny and inspirational. Most of the time, I smile at these. Sometimes, I even laugh right out loud. Really, I'm the person that reads it, smiles at it, and then does not "pass it on" -- as we are so often guilted about. (Guilted, not guilty.)

But sometimes, some of those cutsie little picture quotes just seem to rub me the wrong way. I was able to put my finger on the common thread that ran through those quotes. Maybe you can see it, too. Here's some samples of the kind of thing I'm talking about -- I randomly swiped these from Pinterest.

Don't waste your time on REVENGE
Those that hurt you will eventually face their own KARMA.

Don't stress yourself with useless people
who don't deserve to be an issue in your life.

I just regret the time I've wasted with the wrong people.

I've already been through hell.
So give it your best shot. Not only
will I survive, I will win.

Don't worry about those who talk behind your back.
They're behind you for a reason.

I know they're trying to be inspiring and to buoy you up. But they sure bother me. Every phrase seems to scream, "look at how amazing you are!" and at the same time, they're sneakily telling you, "And look how awful everyone else is!"  Or,  ........... they're saying, "You're a WINNER!! ---- which makes EVERYBODY ELSE: LOSERS." And I mean "loser" in every sense of the word.

It's as though you can't achieve something great, without others being squashed by the wayside. And that's the crux of what my issue is here.

It's not like I don't understand competition. I DO!! You can't go through years of kids' competitive sports, like I have, without understanding competition. But the implication here is that everything in life is a competition, and I don't believe that for a single moment. Do we compete with everyone, ALL the time?

Do you pout a little if a friend's family has their family reunion in Hawaii, when your family reunion was in your aunt's back yard?

Do you have a bite of someone's homemade cookies, and wish that yours were decorated as prettily? (Or the flip side of that: do you roll your eyes at someone else's efforts, thinking how relieved you are that yours were better?)

Do you look at rooms on Pinterest and wish that you/your husband was as handy with tools and paintbrushes as *that person* is?

Do you wince when another child gets the MVP award, even though you simply know that your child's basketball skills are much better?

Does it bother you that someone else's log cabin [mansion-in-the-mountains] is so much more amazing than your 10 year old camper trailer? Or your tent? Or the fact that your family never seems to go *anywhere*?

I'm sure there's a hundred more examples I could give. How many times do we see others' awesomeness and feel a twinge of.............. envy?

And I read this blog post, -- more than once -- which has great thoughts and is so very encouraging when you've been having a bad day. Or a bad week.

But it's one thing to feel a bit down on yourself -- and I'm not discounting that one little bit. We do need to feel more positively about ourselves and our efforts. I just feel that it's another thing entirely when you feel that if someone else "wins", that you, therefore, are the "Loser". Can you ........... can you truly cheer for someone else's accomplishment?

I really love this quote from Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, October 2012:

" ... there are going to be times in our lives when someone else gets an unexpected blessing or receives some special recognition. May I plead with us not to be hurt—and certainly not to feel envious—when good fortune comes to another person? We are not diminished when someone else is added upon. We are not in a race against each other to see who is the wealthiest or the most talented or the most beautiful or even the most blessed. The race we are really in is the race against sin, and surely envy is one of the most universal of those.

Furthermore, envy is a mistake that just keeps on giving. Obviously we suffer a little when some misfortune befalls us, but envy requires us to suffer all good fortune that befalls everyone we know! What a bright prospect that is—downing another quart of pickle juice every time anyone around you has a happy moment! To say nothing of the chagrin in the end, when we find that God really is both just and merciful, giving to all who stand with Him “all that he hath,”² as the scripture says. So lesson number one from the Lord’s vineyard: coveting, pouting, or tearing others down does not elevate your standing, nor does demeaning someone else improve your self-image."

Elder Holland says it so very well. (My own emphasis is added here.) Now. One more thing.

Maybe you -- and I -- can get over being envious. Maybe that's not even a challenge for us. All the better. But what if YOU are the one that causes others to feel a twinge of envy? What if the wonderful circumstance or award or good fortune has happened to YOU? How do you handle that?

Because I think that hand-in-hand with not being envious, is to also refrain from gloating. And there's a difference between the happiness we feel when we've received some good fortune/award/accolade -- and when we gloat about it and consider it some great triumph --- AT THE EXPENSE of someone else.

Do you symbolically wave your child's valedictorian status in front of all the other parents? Do you smugly announce that you will be spending Spring Break in Mexico/Orlando/Vegas this year? Do you show off your blue ribbons while you set aside your red and white ribbons -- so that people will marvel at how talented you are? Have you considered the crushing blow you are delivering to some other hopeful person, when you gloat and "lord it" over them that you are "the winner"?

It is such a very destructive way to be.

Because it is not just possible, but DESIREABLE, to be a sincere, humble, -- winner.

Well, if you have made it to the end of this VERY LONG blog post, thank you. If I've gotten you thinking for a moment, I'm glad. I'm even more happy if you've decided to improve on your relationships and how much you get outside of your own self and reach out to others, in love and true friendship. This is a goal that I want to improve on for myself, too.